Skin Deep
by emberelle
Summary: The team goes undercover at a bachelor's auction to uncover a kidnapping plot; and finds that things aren't always what they seem on the surface.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's note: So, I just finished a more serious fic and decided to try something a bit more lighthearted. But despite the humor, there will be action, and some possible character injury in later chapters. Reviews are very welcome; I hope you all enjoy the story! _

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Kensi had seen many a strange sight in her day, especially inside her bullpen. Pranks went with the territory; she half suspected they were a mandatory OSP policy. But she was not prepared for the sight that greeted her that morning as she entered the bullpen.

Callen and Sam put fingers to their lips instantly, shaking their heads to prevent her from speaking. She just stared at Deeks, who was tilted back in his chair and fast asleep. That in itself was not unusual, but what attracted her attention were the black Halloween cat ears resplendent on his scruffy head.

She looked at her fellow agents with a confused expression on her face. They had looks on their faces that told her they had a good deal to do with her partner's unique accessory. Before she could say or do anything but set her purse down, Eric's whistle shattered the calm of the morning.

"New case on deck!" He shouted as Deeks sat straight up, ears still in place and he seemed unaware of them. Callen and Sam were already halfway up the stairs, biting back smiles. Kensi debated telling her partner about them but decided to play along as she followed him up the stairs.

"So glad you could join us this morning." Hetty said with a slight trace of sarcasm. She made no reference to Deeks's headgear and instead motioned for Eric to bring up three pictures on the big screen.

"Lieutenant Cornel, Lieutenant Davis and Lieutenant Jarvis." Eric indicated each man in turn. "All missing within a month of each other. They have three things in common; they all work at various Naval bases in records departments, they all have relatively high security clearance, and." Here Eric grinned momentarily. "They all participated in a bachelor's auction held at the Mara Paza Hotel every month."

"Oh, that doesn't surprise me. That place always gets the weirdest clientele." Kensi said, then noticed everyone looking at her. "I have…a friend that goes there."

Eric continued. "The auction features B list celebrities, local high rollers and military personnel. The ladies present bid on their choice, and-"

"We know how an auction works, Eric." Callen interrupted gently. "What does this have to do with our victims? Why are we even involved?"

"Well." Nell interjected and Eric turned the proverbial spotlight over to her. "All three had step ladder security clearance to various record rooms. Every day after their disappearance their card keys or eyes are scanned at work like normal, but the cameras are always blanked out just before and just after their IDs show up in the system. We feel that at worst someone is trying to use the Lieutenants to gain access to something specific, and at best we are dealing with a serial kidnapper that is targeting military personnel that just happens to have access to information."

"Not a very cheery at best." Deeks pointed out, still oblivious to his headwear. Nell nodded in agreement.

"Either way; we need to figure out what is going on. The good news is no bodies have ever turned up; there is a good possibility they are still alive." She said, ever the optimist.

"Do we have any suspects?" Sam asked.

I think it is possibly an inside job; they would access to all their personal information and it wouldn't be difficult to use it to track them for a kidnapping." Eric said.

"But, barring that; three different women won the Lieutenants-" Eric broke off. "That sounds funny. Anyway, I have found pictures of each woman, and they have striking similarities."

He brought up three pictures of young women in their thirties; one blonde, one brunette, and one red head. He was right; there was a marked resemblance.

"Same woman, disguising herself." Kensi said in wonder and Eric nodded. "She is our best bet, I feel."

"The director wants us to find out what is transpiring and quickly; the last man's ID to be used penetrated a highly classified record; he doesn't want any more breaches." Hetty said.

"So far, we can find no real pattern to her work; other military personnel there have had no trouble, and we don't even know for sure if the security usages are a result of this." Eric said. "The Lieutenants are all different in looks, personality, backgrounds, even bases. We have no idea who our mystery woman will pick or what she is basing her targets off of, it could be personal preference for all we know. Even the types of security clearance are different; so we basically would have to backstop for a variety of different things. No one agent could possibly be prepared enough."

"So what is our plan of attack?" Callen asked. Hetty smiled slightly, eyeing her agents.

"I don't know Mr. Callen; what could highly trained, prepared, reasonably attractive agents do to catch a woman who seems to be buying her victims at a bachelor's auction?"

Callen caught what Hetty was saying instantly, Sam and Deeks not far behind. "Hetty…no."

"Oh, yes." She smiled.

"No, Hetty!" Sam said, almost whining but not quite.

"Hetty, those things are just wrong!" Deeks said. "Parading people around like pieces of meat…"

"Exactly!" Sam and Callen nodded.

Kensi looked at them in surprise. "You guys were just talking about a swimsuit contest yesterday!"

Deeks looked at Kensi. "Well, that's different. Women are _supposed_ to do stuff like that."

Nell and Kensi both folded their arms and Deeks swallowed. "Was that a wrong thing to say?"

"Very." Nell said pointedly, glaring at the detective. "And to think I almost felt sorry for you."

"Hetty, I can't help but feel this is a bad idea." Sam said cautiously. Hetty waved her hands.

"Like it or not; you are going undercover as illegible bachelors in next weeks' auction at the Mara Paza."

Eric grinned. "Come on, it might be good for you guys; especially you, Callen. You could use a good relationship."

Hetty intervened before Callen could react. "Don't laugh, Mr. Beal. You will be joining them. We must cover every base; she may prefer the intellectual type."

The computer tech went white. "Hetty…is that wise? Considering that the first and only case I went undercover in I was almost frozen then melted-"

"Frelted." Deeks corrected.

"And I don't really like carrying guns."

"Mr. Beal; none of the agents will be carrying guns. And I have faith in you." Hetty smiled.

"Hetty, can we discuss this-" Callen said.

"No, Mr. Callen, we cannot. Ms. Jones, please bring the agents their case files. And Mr. Deeks, about your…unconventional addition to your wardrobe-I like it."

Deeks frowned, and saw Eric gesture to his own head. Deeks reached up and touched the cat ears, frowning as he pulled them off. He glared at Kensi, and she raised her hands. "I didn't do it."

Nell handed each of the agents their case file with all their necessary information. "Good luck." She smiled.

"You are going to need it."


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: Wow! I was not expecting this little thing to get the response it did one the first chapter! Thank all of you so much! I almost cut this chapter out, because there isn't much action, but I couldn't bring myself to delete it. Please bear with me; the next chapter will have the pieces of the puzzle will start being uncovered, I promise. Reviews are most welcome and thanks for reading!

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"What is _this_?" Callen held up a sheet of paper from the file like it was something dangerous.

Kensi looked up from her own desk, hid a smile at her fellow agents' discomfort, and reached across for the paper. Callen surrendered it willingly.

Kensi perused the paper and looked up. "It's a questionnaire the bachelors must fill out before they participate in the auction. They use this information to basically promote you guys. They also fill out a card to read while you are on stage."

"There is a _stage_?" Sam sputtered, setting his coffee down. Kensi nodded. "Yes. You will talk to one of their writers before the show so they can make you look as good as possible to the ladies buying you."

Deeks flinched. "That just sounds so wrong, so, so wrong."

Kensi grinned evilly. "Bikini is on the other butt now, isn't it?"

"Please don't ever say that again." Deeks said. "That is the creepiest thing I have heard in a very long time."

"Yeah, I realized that as I said it." Kensi made a face. Callen broke in again.

"So…what am I supposed to do with this?" He held the paper up again, still gingerly as if it could explode.

"You…answer the questions." Kensi said. "Most of it is name, age, eye color. That stuff. There are a few personality questions, your likes, dislikes and hobbies. That kind of thing. It tells the women a little bit about you."

Callen grunted and Sam gave a gleeful smile; sharing anything with anyone was like pulling teeth when it came to Callen. This would be interesting, at least.

"Why do you have a case file, Kensi?" Deeks asked curiously.

"I am going under with you guys as a prospective buyer." Kensi said, taking a sip of coffee. "I will be the only one of us carrying a gun, so please don't get into too much trouble."

"We can't have our guns?" Deeks said with a slight trace of anxiety.

"Oh, yeah, that's romantic! 'No, sorry, that really _is_ a gun in my pocket.'" Kensi joked. "It would blow your cover. No guns."

"What about knives?" Callen asked suddenly, eyes narrowed.

Kensi shrugged. "I would assume Hetty would want you to have some kind of protection. And you can stop that joke right now, Deeks. Not that kind of protection."

Deeks looked surprised and closed his mouth. Kensi shrugged again. "Fill out the questionnaire then go talk to Hetty."

Callen looked down at the paper in front of him. There were a lot of questions on that sheet…too many. He hated this. He sighed and picked up his pen and scratched his answers, feeling that no matter how he answered, they would come back to haunt him.

"Mr. Deeks, Mr. Hanna, Mr. Callen?" Hetty appeared out of nowhere. "We shall need to begin your wardrobe preparations."

The three men looked up with uncertainty. "Wardrobe preparations?" Deeks asked hesitantly.

"You don't assume you will be going into a formal event in your blue jeans, do you, Mr. Deeks?" Hetty asked with incredulity in her voice. "These women have cultivated tastes, men. You cannot go in looking like wine in a box; you must be Bordeaux." She kissed her fingers and tossed them up.

Sam and Callen exchanged a glance and Deeks leaned over to Kensi. "Sounds like she has been hitting the Bordeaux."

Kensi barely managed to contain her chuckle as Hetty swung her head around to stare at the detective. The scruffy man swallowed and ducked his head.

"Gentlemen; what seems to be the problem? You have gone on numerous undercover operations that were much less glamorous." Hetty folded her arms. "Even downright disgusting, if you recall the sewer cleaners disguise."

Both Sam and Callen flinched.

"And you never even hesitated. Here, you get to dress like the suave gentlemen you are, impress rich, single, _lonely _young women…have the time of your lives. And you act like I just sentenced you to death." Hetty frowned.

"It's just…it's degrading." Sam said. "Listen to these fruity questions. 'What is the best quality you look for in a woman?' Why does that matter?"

Hetty shot him a severe look. "These women are often attending these events in the hopes of finding their Prince Charming, Mr. Hanna. I had a good friend meet her husband of thirty nine years at such an auction."

Properly rebuked, Sam looked down.

"Of course…she did shoot him on their fortieth anniversary…" Hetty mused. All four agents looked at each other in surprise.

"Well, he was running around on her." Hetty said. "But that is beside the point. I have four Brioni tuxedos that will not fit themselves!"

"Breaking out the Bond suits?" Callen asked in surprise. "I didn't think this case was that high a profile."

Hetty sighed slightly. "Let's say it is compensation for the…degradation."

"Hugo Boss would be compensation enough. Why the most expensive suits we have?" Callen pressed, feeling something was off.

"Oh…Ms. Jones didn't tell you?" Hetty feigned innocence. "You have a photo shoot this afternoon."

"Photo shoot?" All three said at the same time.

"Yes. The Mara Paza likes to advertise their…commodities before the auction. It should give you all the perfect opportunity to do some good old fashioned snooping before the banquet Saturday." Hetty clapped her hands. "Chop, chop! Time is ticking."

"Did Hetty just call us commodities?" Deeks asked in surprise as the little lady swept up the stairs to collect Eric.

"Do you get the feeling our dignity is not respected in this organization?" Callen asked rhetorically as he stood sulkily.

"Says the man who put cat ears on a sleeping coworker." Sam pointed out.

"It was _you_!" Deeks said in triumph, the stopped. "Wait…why did you have cat ears?"

Callen shot Deeks a poisonous look. "It is part of a costume."

"Why do you have a cat costume?" Deeks pressed. "Are you a stripper on your nights off?"

Kensi clapped a hand to her eyes. "I did not need that mind picture, thank you." She grunted.

"I'd stop digging, G." Sam cautioned. The lead agent rolled his eyes. "It was from an operation from a long time ago; it was in the wardrobe department."

"Uh huh. Right." Deeks nodded. "Nice cover."

Callen folded his arms, and Deeks realized how built the lead agent was. "So, uh, we should get to the fitting rooms before Hetty gets mad." He said hastily.

"Good idea, Mr. Deeks." Hetty called from the top step, an amused Nell and a disgruntled Eric following her. Clearly the computer tech was still unenthused by this idea.

"Ms. Blye; Ms. Jones and you will put together your wardrobe for Saturday night; please respect your budget." Hetty instructed. "Now, gentlemen…march!" She pointed toward the fitting rooms imperiously. "Your photo shoot is in three hours."

"We are so doomed." Eric muttered.


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note: Thank you guys so much for all your wonderful reviews! This chapter didn't end quite where I wanted it to, but otherwise it would be a 5,000 word chapter and I didn't want that…so please forgive the abrupt ending. Reviews are most welcome, and thanks for reading! _

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"Guys; it isn't too late. I can fake us some death certificates, backstop some new identities, and we can be in a cozy villa in Italy by sunset." Eric said pleadingly as they looked around the crowded ballroom of the Mara Paza Hotel.

"It isn't far enough; Hetty would find us." Callen said musingly, as if actually considering the option in spite of his words. "I have some contacts in Russia still, though..."

"I don't like this…I don't like not having my gun." Deeks hissed.

"Somehow I don't think you'll need it in this group." Sam commented, looking at the unthreatening group of workers busy decorating the large room.

"Oh, you must be my three-thirty!" A tall dark-haired woman in a black pantsuit came practically running at the four men, her eyes wide with excitement and waving a portfolio emphatically. Sam took a step back.

"Then again, I've been wrong before." He commented as the woman stopped in front of them.

"Aren't you all just _gorgeous_?" She breathed, looking each man head to toe, causing them to fidget. Hetty had finally decided to save the tuxedos for the actual banquet; instead bedecking the men in dress shirts and pants. The agents had to admit the clothes were stylish-and privately thought they looked good- but having that fact pointed out by a stranger was slightly disconcerting.

"Alyssa Vorshall; I'm in charge of the Mara Paza Blind Date Banquet." She extended her hand forcefully, smiling brightly.

Sam shook her hand. "Sam Barkly." They had decided to stick close to their names to prevent confusion or hesitation; they didn't have very long to assume these identities.

The woman shook his hand briskly but warmly. "Ah, yes, of course! I read your file. Navy Lieutenant; that's exciting!"

Sam started to respond but she had already turned her attention to Callen. The lead agent took her hand and smiled sincerely back.

"Gregory Poe."

"Are you a Lieutenant too?" She said with a trace of flirtation in her voice. Callen laughed and shook his head. "No Ma'am; Lieutenant _Commander_." He smiled.

"Oh, fun!" She smiled bright, and moved on.

"Why do you out rank me? "Sam hissed under his breath.

"Because I am the lead agent." Callen said with a slight smile.

"Derek Renshaw." Deeks was introducing himself. "Marine First Lieutenant."

"A Marine!" Vorshall seemed to light on that. "My father was a leatherneck!"

"Oo-rah!" Deeks gave a rather passable impression of the Marines' war cry and the woman smiled, eyes lighting on Eric, who was hanging back behind the other three.

"And you are?"

Eric nervously pushed his glasses up. "Eric Norse." He looked very out of his element. "I'm just in engineering."

"Don't let him be so modest." Deeks clapped him on the shoulder. "This guy just got promoted to Engineering Duty Officer; we thought we'd join this little dinner thing for a celebration." Deeks lowered his voice. "Between you and me, these guys could use a date."

Sam frowned; that was their cover story, but he still resented Deeks's little flares he added.

"Oh, that is wonderful! And congratulations; that must be an honor." Alyssa clasped her portfolio to her chest and smiled. "I take you all know each other?"

"Oh, yeah." Eric nodded, seemingly put at ease. "Long time now."

"Good, good! It is good to have friends at these events." She winked conspiringly. Deeks and Sam exchanged a confused look while the coordinator whistled sharply.

"Well, let's get you all set up." She motioned to a thin woman with thick red hair carrying a camera. "This is Vikki; she will be taking care of your pictures. Come find me when she is done with you and we'll coordinate your skits on stage."

"Skits?" Callen said exactly when Sam said "Stage?"

Alyssa smiled comfortingly. "Don't worry; you will all do fine. Vikki; work your magic." She said to the smallish woman. The redhead grinned broadly. "Oh, I will."

The photographer put her hands on her hips and pursed her lips. "You first." She pointed at Eric. The computer tech went even whiter as she pointed to an area where various curtains were hung like backgrounds.

The coordinator handed Sam and Callen keys. "Because you are all friends, I hope you don't mind sharing a dressing room...we had a slight shortage. I am sorry if that is an inconvenience…"

"That shouldn't be a problem." Callen said graciously. "We're all friends here."

"I am so glad it won't be an issue. Now, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." Alyssa said with the air of a dismissal, and Deeks stepped forward.

"Actually, could you tell me where the restroom is, I would really appreciate it."

"Oh; it is right down that hallway there." She pointed with her portfolio. "My office is at the opposite end down there if you need anything more."

"Great, thanks!" Deeks accidentally bumped Vorshall, causing her portfolio to fall, papers skittering across the floor. "Oh, I am so sorry." He bent and started picking up papers.

"It is alright!" She said hastily, taking the papers from him. He shrugged and apologized again, then headed down the hallway.

"Gentlemen, it was a pleasure to meet you." Alyssa said quickly. "But I am afraid I have another appointment. If you need anything at all, call me or my assistant Rick." She handed a business card to Callen and all but sprinted away from the two.

Callen shot a glance at Sam. "Were those pages…?"

"Personal files on our Lieutenant Jarvis." Sam confirmed. "I saw it too."

Callen frowned. "I think it might be beneficial for us to check out Ms. Vorshall's office."

Sam nodded in agreement. "If we can get away from this dog and pony show long enough."

"Guys!" Eric said suddenly from the photography corner. They hurried over to find the computer tech miserably sitting on a chair in front of a white screen. "Please tell her to stop posing me like some rag doll."

Sam and Callen tried to hide their smiles as Vikki put her hands on her hips again.

"You look gorgeous, love. Stop complaining." She said. "Your hair and skin tone is dynamite; but let's show those lucky ladies your smile, hmm?"

Eric gave a slight smile.

Satisfied, Vikki took a few more pictures, only one of which had the computer tech completely smiling.

"There, perfection. You're all done!" She said, waving him up. "Who's next?" She turned.

"Oh, my goodness! Look at those eyes!" She gasped looking at Callen.

The lead agent seemed startled. "Why? What's wrong with them?" He snapped, looking in a full length mirror positioned by the curtains.

"Nothing at all, love! They are perfection, absolute perfection! And that dark blue shirt brings them out so nicely." Vikki said. "Let's get that documented!"

She grabbed Callen's arm and all but dragged him over to a screen, tilting her head. "We'll take a few standing and few standing like we did your friend."

"Was she this pumped up when she did your pictures?" Sam asked in a low voice.

Eric nodded. "Oh, yeah. She was everywhere, saying this and that…telling me my glasses made my look more sophisticated, then telling me to take them off for some casual shots. She told me I look like I was at a funeral, and I should be wearing black. Then she tells me not to grin because I look like a shark. Telling me to roll my sleeves, unroll them..." Eric rolled his eyes and smoothed his light grey shirt fussily. "I wish she'd make up her mind."

"She's an artist." Sam shrugged. "They are temperamental, and not always the nicest people in the world. In fact, she is nicer than most."

Eric frowned. "Nicer than most? Listen to her!"

"Okay, love; you need to stop looking like you are squaring off for a fight. Loosen up your shoulders…you still look like you are about to go three rounds with Rocky Balboa. Loosen!"

Callen shook his shoulders a little bit.

"Better; remember, love; you aren't in the Navy at the moment. You don't have to keep your face so blank. Let's try a smile. You look like you're in pain. A _smile_, love! Better, that's it! Let's try thoughtful…you look in pain again. Well, now you just look angry…actually….that works! Let's try for the wild side."

"Oh, dear." Eric said.

"Show me tiger! Come on, let me see it!" She said, posing her camera at Callen's face. The agent growled. "What does that even _mean_?"

"I can see that inner tiger; let's show those lucky ladies too! Ferocious; think jungle cat." Vikki said excitedly and Sam and Eric had to bite back laughter at Callen's confused expression.

"_What_?"

"Oh, fresh faced innocence, I like it too." Vikki said eagerly. "Oh, let's try a shirtless-"

"No, no, no. I'm done." Callen stood and Vikki didn't miss a beat. "Alright, maybe later. Next!"

Sam was pushed by his partner, rather roughly but playfully. "Your turn." Callen said, giving a slight nod. Sam understood he was to pump the photographer for information while Callen did his disappearing act into Vorshall's office. Eric had already struck up a conversation with the security guard; they would have access to the cameras within ten minutes, if Sam guessed.

He sat on the chair a bit awkwardly and Vikki clicked her tongue. "No, no, love; don't sit like a bag of potatoes! Think tall, think sexy, think suave, James Bond, Cary Grant…that's a bit better."

Sam fought the urge to fidget.

"Now, give us a big smile! No…not that big; you look like a stranger selling candy out of a van. Smaller, more sincerely…well now you look like the big bad wolf. Think sincerity more than size. There, there! Perfect!"

Sam stood when she motioned him to. "Do you keep all those when you are done?"

Vikki let the camera drop on its straps on her neck, surveying Sam critically. "If Alyssa wants me to for our future advertisements, if we have permission."

"See, a couple buddies of mine came to this thing a couple months back; I was kinda hoping to get a hold of their pictures for a joke, you know?" Sam said smoothly.

"I cannot distribute the pictures in my possession; that is illegal." Vikki said sharply.

"Oh, I didn't mean-"

"Well, you are done; who is next?" Vikki said shortly, just as Deeks breezed over to them.

"I guess that would be me, sweetheart!" He said smartly, bumping into Sam.

"Careful; don't let her comments make you cry." Sam warned, slipping the key Deeks had just passed him into his pocket. He didn't know how Deeks got ahold of the things he did, but he wasn't about to ask. Deeks just shot him a smile. He grabbed the chair and twirled it around, then straddled it. He draped his hands over the back and smiled winningly.

"My goodness, that is perfect!" Vikki gasped.

Eric and Sam looked at Deeks, stunned. He was completely relaxed, coming up with his own poses without even blinking. Vikki was eating it up.

"It's sickening." Sam said.

"It's unnatural." Eric muttered.

"It's Deeks." Callen said, causing the two men to jump. "Did you get anything out of Vikki?"

"Stone walled me." Sam said in frustration. "But Deeks managed to get the master key to their file room like we hoped; he just slipped it to me."

"And I found out that the security cameras haven't worked in over a month…they are basically blind right now. They are depending solely on manpower. Which means we are good as far as snooping goes."

"Why haven't the cameras been working?" Callen asked.

"The Mara Paza is basically broke. No one wants to rent rooms here anymore when they can get a much nicer place for about the same price. The main source of revenue anymore is the Blind Date Banquets. They can't afford to keep their technology up to snuff; which is why they actually have files room instead of a computer system I can hack." Eric said, and at their looks of surprise, he shrugged. "You don't think just because I am out of the Op center I can't access information?" He held up his hand held.

"What did you turn up?" Sam asked Callen. "And why do you have leaves on your shirt?"

Callen made a face, brushing his shoulder off. "I didn't get to look long; Vorshall came back to her office unexpectedly… her window was open so I just hopped out."

"You jumped out a window?" Sam snapped.

"It was a first floor window, Sam. I wasn't going to die. Anyway. Before I got out of there, I went through her desk. She is not a very neat person; there were files everywhere; including her personnel files on all her employees. If it is an inside job, we might want to look at them. I sent a picture of the list to your phone, Eric."

Deeks suddenly rejoined the group. "Hey, Sam; I can take that key back now if you want."

"I'm good." Sam said.

"Well…I was the one that picked it up…"

"I'm good." Sam repeated. "Where is the file room?"

"Down the hall, make a left right before the bathrooms, it is the only thing down that side hall." Deeks pointed. Sam nodded and slipped away quietly, leaving Eric and Callen to catch Deeks up.

Sam saw the signs of disrepair on the way down the hall. Everything was clean, but the carpets were fading and the gold gilding on the fixtures was tarnished in places. The shabbiness was carefully hidden, but still there. The Mara Paza was a small hotel to begin with; not popular in even its glory days. Now it was almost deserted.

He found the small door marked Employees Only on frosted glass; clearly the file room He put his hand in his pocket for the key and felt a hand clamp down on his shoulder.

"What do you think you are doing?" A rough voice asked.


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note: Thanks for all your amazing reviews! (And I agree with all of you…'seeing' our boys all dressed up is always good.) This chapter isn't quite what I wanted it to be, but I felt it was getting too long, so I went ahead and split it in two. Now the fun starts! Reviews are always welcome and I hope you enjoy this chapter! _

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Sam turned around, pulling his cell phone out instead of the key. He took in a slender man in a three piece suit, a frown dancing across his young features.

"What are you doing?" The man repeated. "This is for Employees Only."

"Sorry, man." Sam gave an easy smile. "I was just trying to find a quite place to make a phone call." He held up his phone as proof.

The man relaxed slightly. "And you are?"

"Sam Barkly. I'm one of the guys in the Banquet Saturday." Sam supplied.

The man relaxed completely. "I'm sorry for snapping at you; we've had some vandalism lately." He said, extending a hand. "Rick Masterson, Alyssa's personal assistant. Let me take you back to the ballroom."

Sam shook hands with the man, noting that despite his small appearance his handshake was very strong.

"Sorry to hear about the vandalism…was it bad?" Sam asked conversationally as he followed Masterson away from the records room, showing no reluctance although he felt it.

"Well, someone crashed Alyssa's computer with all her records, then _tried_ to torch our file room. We managed to stop it before too much was damaged, but we couldn't stop some of the rooms getting slashed to hell and back. And you can still see some of the graffiti we had to paint over." Rick motioned towards the wall and Sam could see the fresh paint barely covered the black marks.

Sam shook his head. "Man, that's rough. Did you catch the guys?"

Rick shook his head. "No; our security systems have been spotty lately. We never even got a good look at them. I think it was just some teenagers pulling a prank, but Alyssa seems to think someone has it in for the Mara Paza." He lowered his voice conspiringly. "She's been acting really paranoid lately."

"Paranoid?" Sam asked, interest piqued.

"Oh yeah. Triple locking doors, only answering her cell phone in her office, leaving at different hours instead of her usual schedule." Rick seemed to realize he was rambling and shut up abruptly.

Sam started to press the man for more information, but broke off as they reentered the ballroom.

Vikki seemed to have corralled the other agents over to a row of tables, where each one was being interviewed by a writer for the show. Sam stifled a groan as Rick led him over to the table. Surely he qualified for a raise for putting up with all of this.

Kensi looked up in amusement as her four fellow agents dragged themselves through the door.

"Rough day?"

Callen glared at her as he collapsed in his chair. "I would rather deal with a ship full of armed terrorists then go through that again."

Kensi laughed as Deeks, Eric and Sam all nodded in agreement. "That bad?"

The looks told her all she needed to know.

"They wanted us to do _skits_." Eric said the word like it was a deadly virus. "We finally convinced them otherwise."

Kensi hid another smile at her friends' discomfort.

"I am sure my talented agents can handle themselves. Did you find anything useful?" Hetty said, gliding forward silently as always.

"Hotel is broke, assistant likes to talk-a lot-, and the event coordinator has been acting paranoid since about four months ago." Callen recapped briefly. "She also has been looking through files on our missing men."

Sam spoke up. "There was also some vandalism a little ways back; someone tried to torch the file room of the hotel."

"You men did good work today." Hetty nodded slowly. "Very good work. Now, you may change and go home. Rest; you will need it for tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" Deeks said suspiciously.

"Well, _someone_ has to teach you how to catwalk."

"Catwalk?" Sam said weakly.

"Can this get any worse?" Eric muttered. Deeks clapped a hand over the computer tech's mouth.

"Don't ask that! Whenever anyone asks that, things instantly get worse!"

The next three days leading up to the Banquet were kept in secrecy; neither Kensi nor Nell was allowed to see the men while Hetty trained them, although both stooped to a bit of eavesdropping.

"No, no, no, Mr. Callen. You must always turn toward the front leg, or you will trip as you just did. Watch Mr. Deeks; he has this down perfectly."

"That doesn't surprise me." Callen's growl was unmistakable. Nell and Kensi glanced at each other and looked away quickly, before they both burst out laughing.

"Mr. Beal, try to tilt your shoulder more when you pause; it will look intentional. And you all need to slow down; keep your steps in tempo with your narration card they will be reading. Don't look as if you would rather be anywhere other than the stage."

"But I would!" Eric protested.

"Me too!" Sam said, and Callen piped up. "Me three."

There was a moment, then a reluctant "Oh, right! Me four." From Deeks.

"Gentlemen, you are looking at this all wrong. Ladies are going to be fighting over the chance to have your company. Fighting! And this entire operation might not pan out; our suspect might not even be there. In any case all of you will get to spend your evening in the company of rather lovely young ladies, dressed to the nines and sipping expensive wine."

There was a momentary silence, then Callen spoke positively. "Pivot towards the front leg, you said?"

"Perfect, Mr. Callen! Now, let's try it again."

The girls crept away before they were spotted, unable to hold back their laughter any longer.

"Are you going undercover as a buyer too?" Kensi asked Nell as she held up her dress for Saturday lovingly. Nell shook her head. "No; someone has to run the Op Center."

There was something almost wistful in her tone, hastily covered up a moment later. "You are going to look gorgeous in that, Kensi!"

Kensi smiled. "Thanks." Her mind was working quickly; it wasn't fair Nell was left out of the fun.

"I have an idea." She snapped her fingers, and relayed her plan to Nell. The small woman's eyes went wide and a grin spread over her face. "That would be perfect!"

The next two days were a whirlwind, more secret training of the boys and Hetty approving the plan for Nell without telling the men. Finally, Saturday arrived.

Kensi was the first at the hotel, dressed up and finding her assigned table. There were two chairs; one for her and one for whomever she 'won.' According to her pamphlet, there would be an hour and a half for mingling, then the auction would begin.

She was a bit early; only a few women were there.

"Ms. Drake?" A thin, smallish man in a dapper suit appeared at her elbow. She nodded, recognizing her alias.

"Yes?"

He smiled and shook her hand. "Rick Masterson. I just wanted to welcome you to the Mara Paza Blind Date Auction, and present you with the information on all of our eligible bachelors this evening."

He handed her a beautiful leather-bound folder with the Mara Paza emblem embossed on the front. Kensi smiled and accepted it.

There quite a few more profiles than she expected; closer to fifty then the twenty she expected. She had been informed that there was one bachelor for every woman that signed up; there would be quite a crowd. She recognized some of the names of the men as minor celebrities or rich young heirs. She noticed in surprise that the four OSP agents were the only servicemen this time.

If their mystery lady was there and stuck with her pattern, one of them would most definitely be bought by a ruthless kidnapper.

Shaking the gloomy thoughts from her head, she read her friends' profiles in amusement. She had to admit, they all took a good picture.

Eric was first of the profiles; his face broke in a lazy, impish grin. He looked like he was up to no good, and didn't care. His hair was a bit spikier than normal, and the way he looked over his glasses was almost playful.

Callen didn't look relaxed exactly; he looked as if he was about to spring, a flicker of amusement in his eyes, mixed with something that hinted at danger and adventure. The barest hint of a smile was playing across his face, giving him a 'bad boy' vibe.

Sam on the other hand had a warm smile and a calming, almost soothing look in his eyes. The way he was sitting showcased his athletic build, but didn't overplay it. Everything about him seemed comfortable, warm and friendly.

Deeks was draped over something; a chair Kensi guessed, but she couldn't be sure from the way the photo was cropped. His hair was just messy enough to be intriguing but not unkempt. His eyes were completely flirtatious and he had a bright, wide smile on his face.

As Kensi closed the book, she noticed the ballroom had filled, and almost all the women were looking through their own books. She could tell from their places in the folders most of the women were looking at her friends' pictures. She had a feeling there would be quite a bidding war on those four.

"Ladies, if I could have your attention please? We will begin mingling momentarily." A voice over an intercom said. Kensi smiled when she heard it. Just then, the wide double doors of the ballroom opened and the men started entering.

Kensi spotted the agents easily, and felt her mouth drop in spite of herself.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note: This chapter is a bit long; but it was my first official day of Break and I spent it writing. Please forgive the length…consider it a Christmas present. ;) I couldn't bring myself to cut out anything. I left a lot to the reader's imagination this time…hope you all enjoy it as much as I did! Reviews are my favorite thing in the world! _

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Kensi slammed her mouth shut, but couldn't stop staring. She had seen the boys dressed up before, of course. But she had never, ever seen them all decked out, together before. The suits brought out their muscular builds, Kensi noticed in surprise. Hetty had spared nothing with them; Kensi even suspected she styled Deeks and Eric's hair herself. They were all walking in perfect step, faces relaxed in friendly but not overzealous smiles. They moved with grace that they seemed to have born with-although Kensi knew differently. She felt almost like she was in an alternate reality; she could almost hear the Twilight Zone theme song following them as they breezed past her table. From the way the other women were following the four with their eyes, Kensi almost felt sorry for the other men there that night. It was clear who the crowd favorites were going to be.

_Note to self…never assume the boys don't clean up nice again. _Kensi thought as she timed herself. She had to be careful not to approach them too quickly; they were supposed to be total strangers. But she realized as the women converged on her friends that she needn't have worried. In fact…the problem might be reaching them at all.

"Easy boys; I think they can smell fear." Deeks said, eyes roving through the ballroom. Close to fifty women had their eyes on the men coming through the doors; and there was something almost predatory about them.

"Why do they look like they want to kill me?" Eric said, nervousness apparent.

"They don't want to kill you, Eric. Something else entirely." Deeks answered. He was enjoying his friends' uneasiness; he had no nervousness or reluctance about this part of the evening. He looked good in his tuxedo and he knew it; he was going to James Bond it up as long as he could.

"Let's go over to the champagne table. Good place to start mingling." Sam suggested and the four instantly began drifting towards the bar, feeling fifty pairs of eyes on them.

Eric grabbed a glass and began drinking it instantly.

"Easy, buddy." Callen said in concern. "Night just started." Reflecting on his statement, he grabbed a glass himself. "And may God have mercy on our souls."

"Amen." Sam raised a glass himself, then realized a young mocha-skinned woman in a gold dress was heading over to him. "Heads up."

"Hello." She said in a honeyed voice, extending a hand. "I'm Carmilla."

_Of course you are. _The ex-SEAL thought, but took the hand and kissed it, like a high society gentleman. "Sam. Charmed to meet you."

Behind his back Deeks and Eric exchanged a look. 'Charmed?' Eric mouthed and Deeks shrugged. Carmilla seemed to have dragged Sam away, leaving their little circle one short. Deeks turned to Callen to joke with him and made a face.

"Can you do me a favor, _Greg_?" Deeks stressed Callen's alias. Callen glanced at him with slight annoyance.

"What?" The lead agent said, stiffly taking a drink of champagne.

"Can you not look like you are about to interrogate the entire room? You're here to have fun, you know." Deeks pointed out. "You…do know how to have fun, right?"

Callen glared at him. "You want to see me have fun? You want to?"

Deeks held his hands up in surrender. "Hey, man; don't hurt yourself…"

"Hurt myself? Oh, it's on." Callen set his glass of champagne down and strode away from the table with a broad, confidant grin on his face. He approached a small group of four women and seemed to introduce himself, although he was just far enough away from the table Deeks and Eric couldn't hear him. The women suddenly starting laughing, clearly at something Callen said. He moved to walk away, and Deeks heard him say "I won't take anymore of your time, ladies. Just wanted to introduce myself."

"Oh, no! Please, stay!" A blonde with a long blue dress laid her hand lightly on his arms. Her companions agreed instantly. Callen did not refuse the invitation.

"That's….surprisingly impressive." Deeks mused.

"You must be Derek." He heard from behind him. He turned, expecting Kensi but seeing three women, clearly friends, staring at him with a strange look in their eyes and unreadable smiles.

"That I am." He grinned easily, in character.

"I read your profile." The middle one spoke, running a finger around her glass.

_That is just as creepy as I thought it would be. _Deeks thought, but just shrugged lazily. "I'm afraid that puts me at the disadvantage…you know my name but I don't know yours."

"Oh, I'm Barb, this is Cassie and Melinda." The brunette in the middle motioned to her two companions. Melinda-a diminutive raven haired woman- seemed sweet and clearly interested in Deeks, while Cassie-a blonde with long curls and legs- seemed bored with the whole exchange.

"It says you are a Marine." Cassie said, clearly suspicious. "Shouldn't you have a buzz cut?"

Deeks thought quickly, remembering his alias and back story. He gave a rueful laugh and rubbed his leg. "I was injured about a year ago; got put into a clerking position until I completely recover. Turns out they don't care as much about your hair when you are locked away in some dusty records room."

It was a total lie, but all three women seemed to buy it.

"That's a blessing, I suppose." Melinda said. "It would be a crime to cut that…beautiful hair." Her eyes traveled over his head slowly. "A complete crime."

Deeks gave a little laugh. _And things just got awkward. _

"Excuse me ladies…I need to use the little boys room." He bowed away, using the only excuse he could think of to escape.

Eric had managed to hide himself against the dark curtain by the stage. He watched Deeks's escape, laughing to himself. He also noticed that the mingling was going well; on one hand he wanted to join it, and on the other he felt he could blow the whole thing. He was not a gifted conversationalist, he was not the smoothest guy born, hell…he wasn't even close. He didn't know why Hetty insisted he come along; he was obviously no good at this kind of thing.

"What are you doing?" A very, very familiar voice said right in his ear. He whirled around.

"Nell! What are you doing here?" He gasped out, putting a hand over his racing heart. "You scared me half to death."

The small analyst smiled mischievously. "That's your fault for hiding."

"I wasn't hiding; and you didn't answer me."

She smoothed her green dress and waved at the lectern. "I am the official emcee for the evening."

"Smart! That gives you access to all the power in the place…perfect disguise for the portable Op center too." Eric said in realization.

Nell nodded. "Now…you didn't answer _me. _Why are you hiding?"

Eric looked down sheepishly. "I…don't think I can do this…"

"Why not?" Nell said in concern. "Are you sick?"

"No, no. Nothing like that." Eric said, pushing his glasses up. "It's just…I'm not charming or handsome or suave like the other guys."

Nell put her hands on her hips. "You stop that right there. You are just as charming and handsome as the others. You get out there and show those girls your charismatic side."

"I don't know." Eric said. Nell glared at him playfully. "Either you do or I call Hetty and tell her you are disobeying orders."

"You wouldn't." Eric said.

"And that you ripped her suit."

"You _wouldn't_." Eric repeated in horror.

"One…two…" Nell held up a hand and started counting on her fingers. Eric quickly made his way onto the floor. Nell made her way to the microphone to make her next announcement. She knew this would bring groans to her friend's lips.

"Attention ladies and gentlemen; the ballroom next door contains a dance floor, and it is ready for you whenever you like." She said, unable to keep the smile out of her voice. Sure enough, she glanced up to see the stricken looks on her friends faces, flittering with recognition when they realized who the announcer was. It appeared many of the women wanted to dance, as almost the entire crowd filed through the side door into the other ballroom. Nell was so glad she got to be witness to this operation…it was better than cable.

The Mara Paza could not afford an orchestra, but there was a DJ stationed at one end of the room. The rest was been cleared and the whole room was brightly lit; Deeks was unaccustomed to dancing in a place without dimmed lights and pounding bass. The music was bright and cheery and sickeningly classical. Like an actual ball. Deeks barely kept his lip from curling.

"May I have this dance?" A teasing voice he recognized said from behind him, and he turned in relief.

"Kens…"He trailed off as he saw his partner. Kensi was in a formfitting black dress shot through with silver threads. Her hair and makeup were perfect, and he saw all the men staring at Kensi with longing. He swallowed, noticing she was staring at him as well. He extended his hand.

"I would be honored." He bowed low. "I am just glad it is not a waltz."

Kensi caught the joke but gave no indication. As they danced, Kensi asked in a low voice if Deeks had seen their mystery woman. Deeks shook his head.

"No, but that doesn't mean much. The pictures were fuzzy at best and she is a master of disguise."

Kensi nodded, making a face as they completed an elaborate turn to prevent hitting another couple.

"Sorry." The man said, and Kensi caught a look of jealousy at her from the dark haired woman, clearly wanting to dance with Deeks herself.

Song after song was played, Kensi changing partners more times then she could remember. Each partner was clearly trying to impress her, and she had to admit many of them were good dancers. About twenty minutes into the dance, she wound up partnered with Deeks again.

"Having fun?" Deeks asked as they spun lightly.

"Sure." Kensi said.

"You're lying. Your eyes widen when you lie." Deeks said teasingly. "Why aren't you having fun?"

"Because it is a little hard to have fun knowing there is a kidnapper on the loose." Kensi snapped.

"Don't be so grumpy." Deeks said laughingly. "She's not after _you_." Kensi rolled her eyes.

The song ended and the beginning strains of a tango started. Kensi made her way over to a table set up with punch, not wanting to dance anymore. Deeks followed her. Suddenly they became aware no one was moving, merely staring at the dance floor. They followed the crowd's gaze and both blinked in surprise.

Callen and Sam seemed to be trying to out-shine each other, twirling their respective partners expertly in time with the music. The good-naturedly competitive spark was visible in both men's eyes. It was apparent Callen had the better partner; Sam's dance partner was holding her own very well, but the blonde Callen was currently twirling out of an embrace knew more complicated moves.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, it seemed, the watchers became aware of another pair of dancers. They were sticking to the shadows, but suddenly someone called attention to them. Kensi and Deeks's mouths both dropped to see Eric spinning a woman with long red hair in a different variation of the tango Sam and Callen had been competing with.

Deeks was surprised to see the computer tech dancing at all, and Kensi couldn't help but laugh at Sam and Callen's stunned expressions; Eric's variation looked harder then both of theirs. But they recovered quickly, stepping up their own dancing. Eric seemed oblivious to the competition, but he looked like he was having the time of his life. The DJ, sensing the crowd's interest in the apparent contest, kept playing different variations of tango music.

"They're good." Deeks said from his stop by Kensi's elbow.

Kensi nodded. "Very good. I wonder where Eric learned how to dance…Sam and G I get; with all their training. But Eric?" She laughed.

"You know how to tango?" Deeks asked. Kensi unsuspectingly answered.

"I'm better at the Salsa, but yeah; I took lessons for the Argentine."

"Let's do this." Deeks grabbed her hand. Kensi realized what he was doing and stopped abruptly.

"No, no, De..rek." She saved herself just in time. "We can't even waltz together!"

"This isn't waltzing." Deeks pointed out as Sam's partner swung her leg over Sam's shoulder and he lowered his knee in a turn. "That can't be too hard, right?"

The tango takes lots of practice and time and trust in your partner-"

"Don't you trust me?" He asked, cocking his head slightly. Kensi frowned. "It isn't that, Deeks…do you know what you're doing?"

"Only one way to find out." Suddenly she felt herself being twirled back against Deeks, and felt her body automatically respond to the music and Deeks's leading. For a moment, she allowed herself to forget she was on assignment, that she was even an agent. She was having fun.

"So much better then cable." Nell commented to herself, giving the high sign to the DJ to wind down the dancing. Hearing the music slow down, all four agents chose that moment to exact one last complicated move; Sam picking up and spinning his partner in mid air, Callen's wrapping her leg around him and spinning out, Eric lowering his in a dip, her hair sweeping the ground, and Deeks twirled Kensi around sharply until she was leaning backwards over his knee, arm extended over her head. Nell shook her head in appreciation as the crowd erupted in cheers and whistles.

Nell noticed the black looks all the other male attendants were giving the OSP agents, and she noticed the glazed looks the women were also sending her friends' way. She had a feeling there would be quite a bidding war in a few minutes.

"Ladies and gentlemen; we will be beginning the auction in ten minutes. Gentlemen, if you could make your way backstage, and ladies, find your tables."

Nell directed everyone with a smile, but suddenly got a very, very bad feeling. A shiver ran down her spine as she glanced back at the dance floor where her friends were patiently waiting to file out of the room.

Nell calmed herself; they were just fine. She got out her narration cards for the auction and smiled.

This was going to be fun.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note: This chapter was a lot of fun to write! I tried to do the boys justice as far as the bidding wars; and the reason one in particular went for so much was because, when I read your reviews, I couldn't help but think he would be the most fought over. But all our boys are special in their own ways; I love them all of course. Hopefully you guys enjoy the chapter, and reviews are welcome! _

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The four agents hung together, trying their best to ignore the dark glares sent their way by the other men. All four were still trying to regain their breath from their impromptu dance contest. Callen wiped his forehead and glanced at Eric.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" He demanded. Sam bit back a smile at his indignant expression.

The computer tech shrugged, adjusting his glasses. "My mom's a dance instructor. I could do the rumba before I could walk."

Callen glanced at Sam. "I knew it had to be something like that."

"You had no idea." Sam said dismissively. "Deeks was the one I was surprised at."

Deeks gave a laugh. "My girlfriend in college taught me. Haven't actually used it in years. Where'd you guys learn it?"

"Wife." Sam said sharply, rubbing his shoulder. "Long time ago."

"Russia." Callen said, a small smile playing over his face that told the other men there was more to that story. He snapped out of it almost instantly, looking at each of his agents.

"You know what you are doing?"

All three nodded.

"Good. Stay on your toes. We're towards the middle of the auction. Sam, you're first. Then Eric, then Deeks, then me." Callen glanced at a line up list posted in the back room where they were sequestered. A door led into the back wing of the stage; it was the only door in the room.

The intercom was wired into the room, and they heard Nell announce the first man. He was a backup singer for some rock group Sam had never heard of; the rich pretty boy type with the ridiculously complicated layered hair that was in fashion. He kept his disapproval hidden as the man walked past him into the wings.

"You guys seen anything suspicious?" Eric asked in a low voice, looking pensive.

Callen and Sam shared a glance before shaking their heads. Deeks had already given his negative answer.

"We would have told you." Callen said gently.

Eric rubbed his arm sheepishly. "Okay. I'm just being paranoid."

"Paranoid is good. Paranoid keeps you alive." Sam said good -naturedly.

Callen shot him an indignant look. "You're always telling me I'm too paranoid."

"_You_ are." Sam said dismissively. The sound of applause piped through the intercom, and Nell repeated the amount the singer had 'gone for.' Sam's eyes widened.

"That's a lot of money."

"Seven thousand reasons some lady wanted to go on a date with that guy." Callen nodded. "How much do you think we'll go for?"

"I'd probably go for about ten thousand. You guys would be between five and seven." Deeks said easily. Eric snorted.

"Whatever you say, Shaggy."

Deeks glared at Eric and Callen glanced at Sam. Sam seemed preoccupied with listening to the short narrations and the bidding. It seemed the average price for a bachelor was about five thousand, close to what Deeks had said.

Time and bids passed faster than the men expected, but not fast enough for them to forget their nervousness.

Nell was having a great time being emcee; she was drawing bids out higher than they originally would have been. She was reading the crowd, spotting the natural rivalries that always exist in a room full of powerful women. She played up on those rivalries, playing the women against each other. She started getting a feeling for which ones were the risk takers and which ones hung back. She also felt that the women were waiting for something.

Time passed faster than she assumed; she figured auctioning off forty seven men-and Eric was right, that did sound weird-would take longer. But she was already halfway through and it was barely thirty minutes in. She slid her next narration card in front of her and started reading in her excited, energetic voice.

"Sam Barkly, Lieutenant in the US Navy is number twenty-seven in your books, ladies. He enjoys swimming, restoring classic cars, and facing new and exciting challenges. As you can see from those muscles, he also enjoys working out. Just _look _at him, ladies. And we all saw how much he loves to dance."

Sam gave Nell a confused glance as he gave a perfect turn by the lectern. Nell was going off book; as she had all night to drum up bidding. She motioned slightly with her hand for him to stop for a moment. He understood. He briefly seemed to be considering flexing, but Nell shook her head imperceptibly. No need to overplay it; the ladies present were already watching him in rapt attention.

"His character strengths are his loyalty, patience and adventurous nature. Sounds like a keeper to me!" Nell smiled widely, and a titter of laughter spread across the room. Sam started walking again, slower and more methodical; meeting various women's eyes. _He's learning well. _Nell thought as she asked for the usual minimum bid. "Let's start the bidding at say…three thousand?"

"Three thousand!" Was a cry almost before she could finish.

"I have three, do I have fou- I have four do I have…I have five do I have..." Nell struggled to keep up with the suddenly rapid bids. The sluggish women had seemed to come alive. "I have nine, do I have ten? I have ten do I have eleven?"

The bidding had narrowed down between three various women, and none showed any signs of slowing. At eleven one shook her head and Nell swung her eyes towards the woman in the gold dress Sam had danced with. She held up her numbered sign and Nell grinned in triumph. "I have eleven do I have twelve?"

The other competitor, a woman in a silver dress hesitated a moment before holding up five fingers, indicating five hundred.

"I have eleven five, do I have twelve?" She swung back to Gold-dress, who didn't hesitate before nodding.

"I have twelve, do I have thirteen?" Nell hesitated half a beat. "Do I have thirteen for this handsome sailor?"

Silver-dress held up five fingers again.

"I have twelve five, do I have thirteen?" Gold dress nodded, and it was clear Silver was done.

Nell smiled. "Going once…going twice…sold to number forty two for thirteen thousand!" That was the highest-fetching price yet. Sam knew to make his way to number forty-two's table, and he kissed her hand before sitting. She seemed very pleased.

Nell spoke again. "At this time I would like to remind you all that this money goes to support various charities across LA, such as the Homeless Outreach and Breast Cancer Research."

_And the gross amount of an entrance fee you all paid goes straight to the Mara Paza with no questions. _Nell thought privately.

"Moving back a little, we have number twenty six; Eric Norse. He was recently promoted to Engineering Duty Officer, an honor to be sure. A bit of a prankster, Eric enjoys a good joke, reading, and spending time with people he cares about. But don't let the mellow side fool you; Eric is also a master surfer and guitar player. And I guess we all saw how accomplished a dancer he is."

Nell gave her friend a wink and he grinned impishly again. The interest level was certainly there in the crowd.

"His character strengths are his sense of humor, his ability to see the good in any situation, and his persistence." Nell was completely ad-libbing now, since Eric had left that part blank. But it fit. "Come on ladies, just look at that smile. You can be sure to have fun if you are around this guy. Let's open the bidding at three-"

"Three thousand!"

"I have three-" Nell was caught in a repeat of Sam's bidding. The bids climbed higher and higher, and Eric's nervousness seemed to melt with every second.

"I have ten…do I have eleven?" Nell got her bid and moved on. "Do I have twelve?" The bidding was down to the redhead Eric had danced with and a woman that had not bid before in a bright orange dress. The redhead nodded reluctantly and before Nell could turn the orange clad woman had upped it five hundred. The red head was done.

"Going once…going twice…sold to number fifteen for twelve five!" Nell felt like she was at a horse sale as she clapped her little gold gavel down. Eric made his way over to her table and sat down, grinning at her. The dark haired woman smiled back.

"Now, moving forward again, we have number twenty eight. Derek Renshaw is a Marine First Lieutenant, and he enjoys surfing, dancing, and the beach. His character strengths are his humor, his dedication to his work and his imagination." Nell gave him a little smile as he struck a perfect pose. He was clearly enjoying himself, but trying to hide that he was.

"Look at that confidence and grace, girls. Let's start the bidding at three-"

Once again she was cut off. Nell gave sigh to herself as she kept up with the bids. Thank goodness the ladies hadn't been this energetic before; she was almost wore out.

"I have ten, do I have eleven?" Nell took a sip of water as one of her criers pointed out the next bid. "I have eleven do I have twelve?"

The bids climbed again, but topped out at twelve thousand seven hundred fifty.

"Sold to number thirty three!" She said, feeling that dark feeling again but brushing it off. She knew she was concerned that her friends' price was so high; hopefully their mystery woman wouldn't be chased off by the large price tag. Although, if she had a nefarious plot, the suspect wouldn't be ran off too easily.

She had to make her next announcement in her script.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if your bidding is concluded, you may adjourn to the banquet room down the hall whenever you wish. Please stop by the table outside the door before you leave to complete your business."

_Fancy way of saying paying for your date. _Nell thought. She saw a few couples stand and make their way to the doors.

"And that brings us to number twenty-nine; Gregory Poe. He's a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy. " Nell came up short and covered it by taking a sip of water. Callen hadn't filled out his card…she had nothing to go off of. If only he knew that would make it worse for him, she thought evilly.

"He enjoys adventure, shooting, karaoke, and learning foreign languages. He speaks at least six languages including Polish, Russian, Italian, German, Spanish and French."

Many ladies sat straight up at that.

"His character strengths are his protectiveness, fearlessness, and spontaneity. You never know what to expect with him." Nell waited half a beat. "And just look at those _eyes_, ladies."

Callen was purposely ignoring Nell, but she could see he was uncomfortable being examined by so many people. She knew he would deal with it, but she decided to take pity on him and start the bidding.

"Let's start bidding at thr-"

"Five thousand!"

"Or five. I have five do I…I have seven, do I have…I have ten, do I have…" Nell felt overwhelmed at the sudden response from the room. Callen seemed surprised, and his widened eyes made the bids go up even more.

"I have fifteen, do I have sixteen?" "I have eighteen, do I have nineteen?"

The bids climbed, and the bidders dropped down to two; the blonde Callen had tangoed with and the Vikki, the photographer. Nell thought that was very ironic.

Finally, Vikki laughed good naturedly and dropped out. The blonde smiled in triumph as Nell announced "Sold! To number seventeen for twenty-five thousand."

Nell was stunned. That was the highest bid, tying a record from three years before. Callen seemed surprised as well, making his way to the winner's table, right in front of the stage. The woman laughed as he bowed, and said something. Nell, a skilled lip reader, understood what she said.

"I better get you out of here before we start a riot."

Callen had said something in return, but his back was to Nell. He helped the woman out of her chair and they actually ran towards the doors playfully. Callen's face was more relaxed then Nell could ever remember, and she felt a twinge of something. She surveyed the room and realized all the agents, including Kensi and her 'date' had disappeared. She felt that bad feeling again, but bit it back. She had eighteen more bachelors to auction off; she had no time for bad feelings.

Besides, the boys could take care of themselves. She hoped.


	7. Chapter 7

Author's note: Sorry for the delay; I promised myself I would not do any writing over the Holidays. This chapter is a little long to make up for it. I hope everyone had a safe and pleasant Holiday season and a good New Year. I will be back on my usual schedule of every couple days now. Reviews are always welcome, and I hope you enjoy this next part!

NCIS:LA NCIS:LA NCIS:LA

Kensi gave little sigh as her temperamental date ranted about something going on in his band. She discreetly looked around the dining room and spotted Deeks and his date three tables away. He was clearly not enjoying himself, but trying to hide it. Sam was also in the dining room, but farther across the room. He looked vaguely uncomfortable, but not unhappy. Eric and Callen were nowhere to be seen; Kensi assumed their dates had taken them out of the hotel. They would check in as soon as they were able, she knew; but it still made her nervous she couldn't see her friends.

"Isn't that the craziest thing you've ever heard? Thinking I would be a _backup_ singer." Her date…Bryan, she forced herself to remember- tossed his hair slightly and rolled his eyes. She regretted snapping up one of the first men just so she wouldn't look suspicious not bidding on the agents. It had been a good plan, but she accidently wound up with a diva of a 'rock star.' And Kensi used the term star loosely. She nodded politely, taking a bite of her dinner and let her eyes travel again. None of the women seemed dangerous or even suspicious; but that didn't mean their culprit wasn't there. She gently excused herself to use the restroom, and as soon as she was alone in the bathroom, she tapped her earpiece, cleverly hidden and almost invisible in her ear.

She twisted a stone on her bracelet, activating her microphone. "Guys, if you can check in, please do so. I haven't seen Eric or Callen since they left the auction room. Have you guys heard anything?"

"Deeks, checking in." Her partner responded. "I haven't seen them, and they are not over by the champagne table like we arranged. I've been waiting for about two minutes; I have to get back to my date soon or she'll get suspicious."

"Do you think she could be our mystery lady?" Kensi asked.

There was a momentary pause. "Well, she does keep pumping me about what I do, what my job is, stuff like that. Either she is very nosy, or she's our guy. Girl, I should say."

"Stay on your toes." Kensi warned.

"Will do."

"This is Sam, checking in. I haven't seen Eric or Callen. Don't have long, but I highly doubt my date is our suspect." Sam sounded muffled. Kensi nodded; she had already guessed that. Their mystery woman was very fair skinned, and Sam's date skin was warm mocha-toned.

"She could be an accomplice, so keep your eyes open." Kensi warned; knowing Hetty was listening in and wanted to be sure her team was watching out for each other. Sam replied. "I will, I got to go, she's coming back."

Kensi waited a moment, but neither Eric nor Callen checked in. She started getting anxious, knowing she had to get back to her date or he would be getting suspicious. As she made her way back to her table, she kept her eyes open, but saw no sign of them. She sat down, steeling herself for another ten minutes tirade against recording studio politics, and pushed another stone on her bracelet.

OOO

Nell looked down at her hand held's screen. Kensi had activated her alarm, judging by the blinking blue light. That meant Nell was to track the GPS chip in each of the agent's suits. Hetty had the buttons specially made for this very purpose, and Nell knew from the conversation she had just heard on her earpiece that Eric and Callen were unaccounted for.

She started tracking the agents. Kensi and Sam were still in the dining room; Deeks was moving through the main hallway-probably to the dance floor, Nell guessed. They were all were they were supposed to be; now for the missing ones. According to his tracker, Eric was still in at the Mara Paza, outside of it. Possibly in the garden out back. Nell wanted to breathe a sigh of relief, but couldn't help feeling concerned he hadn't checked in.

Callen's tracker indicated he was also at the Mara Paza, but she couldn't pinpoint where. Nell frowned, that bad feeling rising up again, stronger than ever. But she saw nothing to give alarm over; the agents were all still on the premises…they just might not be able to slip away from their dates yet. She tried to push her doubts away, but couldn't.

OOO

Deeks refilled his date's glass at the champagne table, opting to leave the liquor alone himself. His date, Melinda, drank enough for both of them. She was tipsy by now, laughing too loud and long at his little quips. He was getting a headache from her high pitched cackle. He resisted the urge to rub his temples as he took a sip of the punch. Melinda was still at their table, giggling at the waitress about something.

He knew his date was not the culprit. While Melinda had been asking him a lot of questions, she bared no resemblance to their high cheek-boned, tall woman. Even in heels, Melinda stood barely five foot one and had rosy, full cheeks. Deeks had heard Kensi's warning about an accomplice, but he privately doubted Melinda was capable of anything nefarious.

"Hey." Sam said in a low voice as he approached the table himself, carrying two glasses. "See anything out of the ordinary?"

"That lipstick on your cheek all kinda leaps out."

Sam's hand snapped up to his face, wiping furiously. Deeks contained a chuckle, but only barely. "I meant regarding the case."

"Nothing, except our amigos aren't here. And I am sure my date isn't our girl." Deeks said in a low voice to match the older agent's.

"Mine either. I've seen Vorshall on her phone a lot this evening, and she looks upset. Even scared." Sam said. "And I haven't seen Eric or Callen since the auction; they haven't checked in. I'm willing to bet one of them is with our suspect."

Deeks made a face. "Do we ditch our dates and go looking, or wait for the bat signal?" He indicated his watch, where a red light would glow if Nell tripped their 'Code Red' alarm.

Sam gave him a glance. "Bat signal. I would hate to ruin your lovely date."

Deeks shuddered slightly as Melinda's sharp, tinny laugh reached his ears. "What a pal."

Sam gave a half smile and walk back to Carmilla's table, almost smugly. Deeks watched him for half a beat, thinking to himself that it was not fair Sam was having a good time and he was not.

"De-rek!" He heard Melinda call and saw her give a little wave. "Hurry back, darling!"

He swallowed. He was seriously going to qualify for some paid vacation after this.

OOO

"Would you look at those stars?" Lea, Callen's date, said breathlessly, looking up at the night sky. They had quitted the dining room for the restaurant's outdoor patio. Callen smiled as he complied, looking up as well.

"Beautiful." He said, glancing at Lea. "The stars too."

She laughed, blushing slightly. Callen was surprised how easily the flirtatious talk came to him; it had been a while since he had been in a position to use it. On or off the job, Callen thought to himself. He thought he would be more nervous, considering he might literally be flirting with disaster, but for some reason he wasn't.

Their waiter approached with another wine bottle, but Lea shook her head. Callen waved him away. He noted the lack of employees around the hotel; it looked like a ship with a skeleton crew.

He looked through the double doors and spotted Alyssa walking very quickly through the restaurant. She was looking around furtively, and had a file in her hand. He wondered how much money it would take to keep the hotel afloat. He had a little suspicion in his mind, but he wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Oh! Did you see it?" He heard Lea say, and brought his attention back to her. She was smiling sweetly, a little shyly.

"See what?" He asked easily, giving a little smile.

"That shooting star." She pointed. He shook his head.

"No, I didn't." He said a little sheepishly.

"Oh, too bad. You won't get your wish now." She said teasingly.

Callen laid his hand lightly on her arm. "I think I already did." Callen heard himself say, and was surprised at himself. _That was ridiculously cheesy. Where did that even come from? _

Surprisingly, Lea didn't seem to notice the brashness of the compliment. She was blushing-rather prettily, Callen admitted- and put her hand over his.

She ducked her head slightly, and spoke quietly. "Would you like to take a walk?"

Callen nodded, standing to pull her chair out. "I would love to. Did you have anywhere in particular in mind?"

He noticed something almost triumphant in her eyes as she stood, something almost hungry.

"Oh, yes." She said, with a strange tone in her inflection.

He suddenly had a bad feeling.

OOO

Eric smiled as he delivered the punch line for his joke. Tiffany laughed, a tinkling, infectious laugh, one that made him feel like laughing himself. She had been laughing all night, because of him. He liked that, he liked making her laugh. She finally stopped laughing, still smiling as she looked at him. They had been walking around the garden behind the hotel; neither one was hungry, nor did they want to deal with the crowded dining room.

"Oh, no more, no more!" She held up a hand. "My stomach hurts!"

Eric started to apologize, then realized he really didn't need to; she was not offended in the least.

Tiffany leaned against a tree, brushing her bright orange dress. "I am really glad I convinced myself to come tonight."

"Me too." Eric said sincerely. He looked at her easily, leaning against a tree beside her. She was tall but not too tall for him. She had high, classic cheekbones and beautiful almond eyes. She was tanned and clearly in shape.

"I am usually really shy. Game designers don't get out much." She made a face.

"You're a game designer?" Eric said eagerly. "I used to do that. What kind of games?"

"Depends. My latest project is a fantasy one, with lots of blood and fire. Kinda depressing, actually." She laughed. He laughed with her.

"I bet that is fun, though. Get to use all the fancy equipment." Eric said knowingly. "Like dual core processers and all that."

"Oh, yeah." She nodded, grinning wide. "Their beastly, let me tell you."

"My favorite part is using the more obscure software codes too. Like the Sheriff of Nottingham effect. It doesn't get enough love, does it?" Eric said.

"Er…no. No it doesn't. People should use it more." She said, hesitantly.

Eric may not have had the training the others had, but he could smell a rat just the same.

"That would be kind of hard to do, because it doesn't exist." He said, quietly. Tiffany's face went hard. In that moment, he could see she was the same woman from the grainy photos they had studied so carefully. A little tanner, different hair color…but the same woman.

"I had really hoped this wouldn't be necessary, Eric. I really do like you." She reached into her purse and pulled a gun. Eric felt his body stiffen at the sight of the firearm. "But I need an engineer to finish up. Nothing personal…" She shrugged. "If you don't some with me, I will shoot you and find someone else. So, I would just come with me."

She motioned with her gun, then froze. "Hold up."

Eric obeyed. What else was he going to do? He was too far away to kick the gun out of her hands, and he didn't want to get shot.

Another figure stepped out of the shadows.

"This is the last one, right; Tiff? This is the last one you need." Alyssa's voice was scared. "I don't need to do this anymore."

Tiffany sneered. "Yes, you pansy; this is the last one. You never have to see me again. Just remember. You know nothing." She held her gun up a little higher. "Is my car here?"

"Ready and waiting." Alyssa said.

" Good. Oh, keep those friends he came with preoccupied." She nodded toward Eric.

"Alright, come on; sweetie. We are going to take a little ride." She herded him toward the parking lot, stopping in front of a non-descript black car.

_Why do all bad guys have black cars? _Eric thought. _Why not neon yellow or bright pink? Just once, I'd like to see that. _

His thoughts broke off as a large man got out of the passenger seat of the car.

"Sorry, hun." He heard Tiffany say as the large man grabbed him. "It's necessary."

He wasn't sure what she meant until he felt something heavy connect with his head. His last thought before passing out was that Hetty would kill him if he got blood on her suit.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Note: This chapter is a little shorter than normal, but if I didn't break it here it would be way too long. I hope you all enjoy it; I love that other people are having as much fun with this as I am! Reviews are much loved, and I read every one of them. (Repeatedly.) _

_NCIS:LA NCIS:LA NCIS:LA _

Nell frowned heavily. Something wasn't right…but what? Callen had checked in, apologizing that he couldn't get through sooner, then clicked off. But Eric still hadn't checked in; Nell realized. She brought up the GPS on her screen. Eric's tracker was flickering, but it was obvious it was moving…away from the hotel. She had to decide if she should trip the alarm and send the agents after him, or leave him be a little longer. If she was wrong, it could blow the whole operation. But if she was right…Eric could be in serious danger. She bit her bottom lip.

"What would Hetty do?" Nell muttered. "She would make sure her agent was safe at all costs. And, on the upside, if he is safe and hadn't checked in, then the blunder would fall on his shoulders. She took a deep breath and pressed a button on her hand held.

OOO

Deeks almost gave a sigh of relief when his cell phone buzzed. He, falling back on their prearranged excuse, apologized to Melinda and explained he was on call for his base.

"There seems to be a problem with the base's codes, and they need me. And someone with a lot of lace on their sleeves say jump, you jump." He said regretfully.

Melinda pouted, and slipped him a piece of paper with her number on it. "Be sure to call me, darling." She giggled drunkenly.

"I'll be sure to do that." Deeks lied as he pocketed the note. "When pigs fly." He added in a sotto voice.

He slipped to the arranged meeting place out back. Nell looked very worried, and judging by the fact she had a case that contained the agent's badges and guns with her, he knew it was serious. He couldn't help but wonder if it was wrong he was almost relieved they were going to into action just because it got him out of his date.

It was only a moment or two before Sam and Callen met up with them as well.

"Did we interrupt something there, Callen?" Deeks joked, motioning to the lead agent. Callen looked down and noticed his first two buttons were unbuttoned and his bow tie was loose.

"It's hot in there!" He snapped with a glare at the detective. Deeks nodded knowingly.

"What's going on here, Nell?" Sam interrupted anxiously. She explained quickly.

"You did the right thing, Nell." Callen reassured her, and Deeks noticed the stony face Callen had on. "Where is Eric now?"

"The tracker stopped at an office building about ten miles from here. It hasn't moved." Nell explained.

Just then, Kensi came up to the group, slipping through the trees quietly. "Sorry, I had to ditch the diva. Was a little harder than I expected."

"What did you have to do? Insult his hair?" Deeks quipped.

"His type of music, actually." Kensi admitted. "His ego wouldn't let anything else bother him."

Nell brought her up to speed, then waved her hand. "I have one of our vans right over there." She said it almost sheepishly. "I thought it might come in handy."

"Good thinking, Nell!" Sam praised her. She smiled happily as the agents grabbed their badges and guns from the case Nell had brought.

"Let's get Eric back." Callen said firmly, checking his gun's clip before holstering it.

"Da na na na na na-ouch!" Deeks started muttering the Batman theme song as the agents ran to the van but broke off as Kensi backhanded him over the head.

OOO

Callen adjusted his binoculars at the single story building. Hetty was talking over their earpieces about being extremely careful.

"I don't have it in my budget for six funerals, do you understand?" She barked, but the team could hear the affectionate worry in her voice that had been there ever since they had told her Eric had been taken.

That was the kicker; that _Eric_ had been the one targeted. And Callen had let his least-experienced teammate be taken. That made him angry.

"Don't worry, Hetty. If Nell's driving didn't kill us, I think we will be fine." Deeks was trying to joke, but it was falling flat. Everyone was worried about Eric.

"Perhaps, Mr. Deeks. No matter what else, get Mr. Beal back, and be careful. You will not receive backup from the LAPD for another half hour, it seems."

"We can handle it." Sam said firmly as he rolled down his black shirt's sleeves; Nell had had the presence of mind earlier to take along the agents' normal clothes. the car ride over had provided the time for a quick change out of the dress clothes-something that would have been awkward or embarrassing if they weren't so concerned about Beal.

Callen suddenly hissed. "I see someone walking around in there. Nell?"

"From the heat signatures I am getting from this satellite, there are three people in a small room off the main lobby, two people in a back room and one person patrolling the building. That's it."

"Kensi, Deeks, take the three. Sam-" Callen began.

"I'll take care of the guard." Sam finished.

"And I'll take the two. Nell, monitor us?"

She nodded.

"Be on your guard. Move out." Callen spoke tersely, but his team showed no notice of the shortness.

Callen saw Sam sidle over to a side door, and heard Nell giving him the whereabouts of the guard through his earpiece. He saw Kensi and Deeks try the front doors and found them unlocked. They slipped in. His turn.

He crept around back, finding the back door. It too was unlocked; he slipped right in. He heard Sam whisper that the guard had been taken care of. Nell turned her attention to guiding Kensi and Deeks to the room with the three people; apparently it was harder to find than it first looked.

Callen spotted an office with the door closed. It was the only one that was closed; he deduced that was the room with the people. He took a deep breath and kicked the door in.

A woman in an orange dress looked up sharply from where she was standing in front of someone who had his back to Callen. She spun the other person around sharply. It was Eric.

"Drop your gun or I will shoot him." She ordered, nuzzling a gun against Eric's head. Callen felt time slow.

This was not good.


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Note: Okay, please don't hurt me for two cliff-hangers in a row. I felt like this was a clean place to break, and hey-think about how many times they give us cliff-hangers in the show. (Pretty much every commercial break) So, I do apologize. I hope you all enjoy this next chapter, and reviews are always welcome! _

_NCIS:LA NCIS:LA NCIS:LA _

Kensi held her breath as Deeks counted off "Two…three."

As one they kicked the door in. "Freeze, Federal agents!" Kensi barked as she took in the room.

Three men in rumpled clothes were tied to chairs, and looked worse for the wear. They looked up, relief washing over their faces.

"Thank God!" One said, and Kensi realized that these were their missing Lieutenants. Deeks and she immediately untied the men.

"What happened?" She asked.

"That chick is crazy! She was trying to build her own little fighting unit!" One-Jarvis- said angrily as he rubbed his wrists. "She was trying to design something to let her take over LA…some kind of weapon. None of us knew anything about designed weapons, so she tied us up and had her guard watch us this whole time."

Just as Deeks and Kensi were about to reply, a sharp voice behind them said "Freeze! LAPD!"

"You guys are making better time-" Deeks started to say, then was slammed against a wall by an officer. Kensi was grabbed by another one.

"No, no, no. We're Federal agents. My badge is on my belt. Look!" She protested. The officer holding her looked suspicious, but followed her prompting to check the badge.

"They're clean, Baker." He said. The other man released Deeks. The whole building seemed to be crawling with cops, something that would normally make Kensi relax. But right now, she was afraid the raid would make their suspect nervous and trigger-happy.

She and Deeks ran out of the room, once assuring the captives were in good hands. They saw Sam forced against the wall and being frisked.

"I'm one of the good guys, you idiots!" Sam snapped as they found his badge. The young- looking officer was tripping over himself to apologize but Sam just grabbed his gun and headed toward the back of the building with Kensi and Deeks.

"We found this, sir!" One officer was holding a gun in his gloved hands and was showing it to the commanding officer. Sam slowed.

"That's Callen's. Where is he?" He demanded of the superior. The man shrugged. "You are the only ones in here that we've seen."

"What?" Sam demanded. Kensi could almost see the smoke coming out of his ears. "Where is my partner? Where is Callen?"

Just then, Nell started talking on their ear pieces.

"Guys, your signals have been sketchy inside the building because of the way it was constructed. Can you hear me now?" Nell asked anxiously. All three agents replied to the affirmative.

"Good. Because I am getting clear signals on Callen and Eric. We have a problem."

"What kind of problem? What happened?" Sam snapped.

"Well…I'm not too sure. But I know that they are in trouble, and they need our help."

OOO-A little earlier-OOO

Callen eyed the woman tensely. She did not seem to be bluffing; he had no doubt she would actually shoot Eric if he pressed her. But she didn't seem to be itching to pull the trigger just yet. He gave Eric a hasty once over and felt concerned when he saw blood and bruises and the computer tech's face. Eric was also holding his left shoulder oddly, as if in pain.

"You want to tell me what's going on here?" Callen said, stalling until Sam could reach them. The woman pressed the gun more forcefully into Eric's temple, causing the analyst to wince in pain.

"Drop it!" She snapped. Callen thought quickly, trying to form a plan. He turned the gun away, holding his hands up in surrender.

"Okay, okay; easy. Easy." He laid the gun down on the cold cement floor slowly, then stood just as slowly. She relaxed, but did not remove the dun from Eric's head.

Callen just had to keep her distracted, busy, until Sam could get there. "What is this all about?"

"Shut up. You wouldn't come alone, would you? Of course you wouldn't." She eyed his badge. "Let's go. Come on." She pushed Eric in front of her, gun still pressed against him. "Any funny business out of you, and I shoot Mr. Wizard here."

Callen knew how serious this was, but the offence crossing Eric's face almost made him smile.

"Here." She, one hand still on her gun, reached over and grabbed something off the table. She tossed the shining silver object over to Callen, who caught it. They were handcuffs.

She pushed Eric over towards Callen, still keeping the gun aimed at them. "Handcuff yourselves together." At Callen's hesitation, she barked again. "Do it!"

He complied, reluctantly. He slipped the cuffs around his left wrist and Eric's right. Eric was still holding his left shoulder strangely. The click of metal seemed to animate him; he started fidgeting. Callen shot him a warning glance and looked back at their captor.

"Let's move. We're going out the back. Go!" She snapped, grabbing a black bag from the table in the room and herded them out of the room, down the hallway and out the back door Callen had come through. With every step, Callen expected Sam to jump out and overpower the woman. But they reached a black car around back without the ex-SEAL appearing.

"Get in the backseat. Now!" She snapped, keeping the gun aimed at them until they obeyed. Satisfied, she slid in the front seat and turned to them.

"If you try anything, I will shoot the first one I can get ahold of." She held up her gun as proof.

"You know, you should use both hands while driving. Especially in LA; car accident rates tripled in the last two years." Eric said easily, speaking for the first time since Callen had come upon him. Callen couldn't keep the half grin off his face for a brief moment, but the angry glare the woman shot Eric chased it away.

"Would you shut up?" She snapped, slamming the car into drive and speeding away.

"You know, I should have known. I mean, who is named Tiffany? You could have picked a fake name that wasn't so…so…bubbly."

"That's my real name." The woman said darkly, then swerved erratically onto a different road.

"It might be best not to antagonize her." Callen said in a low voice. Eric shot Callen a confident grin, and Callen realized why Eric was being so daring. The hope and trust in Eric's eyes told Callen that the analyst thought Callen had a plan, that Callen would get them out of this rather sticky predicament. Callen knew he couldn't let Eric know he didn't have a plan; the computer tech might not be able to take that.

Suddenly, Callen was aware that his small microphone was still attached to his black shirt, but he had turned it off. Reaching up, he turned it on, nodding toward Eric. Eric seemed to know what he was doing.

"You're taking Oliver? That dead ends at Waterford, and if you go down Waterford, you have to go right by the docks. You won't make very good time that way." Eric said conversationally, just like his previous statements. But now Nell could hear the conversation, and would know where they were.

"Shut _up _or I _will_ shoot!" Tiffany growled, then ignored the two. Callen considered jumping out of the car when she slowed for the turn at Waterford, but he doubted that the two men, handcuffed as they were, could execute the move without serious injury.

The team was their only hope, and he had faith in his team. He wasn't sure how many minutes passed before they were driving through the docks, the overwhelming smell of fish and salt permeating the air. Eric made a face.

"You keep driving at this speed; you'll hit that big old blue warehouse over there." Callen said lazily, causing her to jump slightly. Callen hadn't said much up until then, and his voice startled the woman. Suddenly, he saw something in the rear view mirror that made him take notice. The black van was roaring up behind them. It was still a fair piece off, but it was there.

"Go team!" Eric said with grin. Callen tensed up, unable to join in his companion's elation. Something was wrong, the way Tiffany was driving. It wasn't right; she should be slowing down for the turn ahead, or she would run straight off the dock-

Suddenly Callen knew what was about to happen. He lunged toward the front seat, dragging Eric with him. He reached around to grab the steering wheel, but it was too late.

The black car ran off the edge of the dock, crashing into the water with tremendous force.


	10. Chapter 10

Callen watched as if in slow motion as the car hit water. The windshield cracked in a spider's web, then gave way, slowly flooding the passenger compartment as the vehicle began to sink. His body- in the awkward position of being bent forward across the seats-was thrown and twisted in a matter of moments, hitting his head roughly against the dashboard. He was aware of something warm and sticky running down his forehead as he pulled himself up and turned to Eric, concerned. Callen could feel a dull twinge in his arm and knew his mad jump forward had wrenched both of their shoulders.

He felt a strange pang when he saw Eric was slumped over and the computer tech wasn't moving. Awkwardly, hampered by the handcuffs, Callen tried to haul his teammate up. Eric's eyes flickered open and he looked at Callen for a brief moment. He tried to say something, moving his un-cuffed hand weakly up to his head. Then he closed his eyes again.

Callen was aware of four things at once. One, Tiffany had managed to extricate herself from the wreckage with no injury, but her only thought was escaping the car, not for her captives. She managed to swim through the shattered windshield, abandoning the men behind her. The second thing Callen was aware of was that the car was sinking much faster than he thought; the water was already up to his shoulders and climbing steadily. Thirdly, he knew he could never make it out of the almost submerged car carrying Eric's dead weight, handcuffed as he was. But the final thing he knew was that he had to try.

He took a deep breath, one of the few he had left. He clumsily wrapped his left arm around Eric as if hugging him tightly. The action caused Eric's arm to bend uncomfortably, and he almost felt relieved for Eric he was unconscious. Looping his free arm around the limp body of the analyst, Callen took a deep breath to fill his lungs as the water closed over the two of them. He began swimming as hard as he could, pulling them free through the windshield and heading to the surface. They were much deeper than he had first guessed; the backseat had been high enough out of the water to prevent being flooded sooner. Another thing was that the water was pitch black, the sky above it black as ink as well. Disoriented, Callen trusted his body's natural buoyancy to tell him which way was up and prayed there were no obstructions in the water.

Callen was strong, and a good swimmer. But trying to swim straight up, handcuffed to one hundred and seventy- plus pounds of dead weight, was an obstacle they did not train for, and he had never been in this situation before. He felt a pang of relief to see the reflection of a streetlight right over his head; he must be close to the surface. But he was running out of air, and felt his body reacting sluggishly. Black rings were starting at the edges of his vision, blocking out the water and the simmering light above. He felt a large ripple cutting through the water, as if something was making movement near him.

_Just a few more feet, you can do it. You have to do it. You can…_was his last thought before he drifted away into his own darkness.

OOO

Nell careened the black van to a stop and Sam was out of the back before she could say anything. They had all seen the car go straight into the water at almost ninety miles an hour; they had all felt the breath torn from their bodies at the splash.

Sam's feet pounded the dock, cursing loudly. He saw Deeks out of the corner of his eye keeping pace with him. Kensi was right behind him, if the foul language describing the darkening sky was any indication. But he barely registered these things. He took a deep breath and jumped off the edge of the dock, his body arching into the water smoothly.

He had the benefit of the streetlights behind him to illuminate the water, but only just. The water stung his eyes for the briefest of moments as he spotted the wreck and began swimming toward it. The strange green-black of the water hid the interior of the car from him; and it was sinking faster than it should. Cursing inside his head, he was about to chase the car as deep as he could when he saw a brief flurry of movement out of the corner of his eye. He felt a ripple…something was displacing the water about ten feet away. He began swimming toward it; his eyes adjusted to the dark enough to see two rough human-shaped figures.

Just as he reached them, they stopped moving. The internal oaths ramping up into a fury pitch, Sam clamped down on what Callen's shoulder. They were almost at the surface, so close. Sam wrapped his arms around the weak duo and propelled himself up as hard as he could. It seemed to take all of his power, but they broke surface, Sam gasping in deep breaths of air. He felt someone coming up behind him and turned his head to see Deeks, hair clinging to his face and a worried look in his eyes.

"Come on, let's get them up." He said, and Sam realized how close to the dock they were. Deeks looped Eric's arm around his shoulder, and Sam looped Callen's around his. He realized the two men were handcuffed together, but didn't have time to notice much else.

It took both Deeks and Sam with Kensi's assistance to get them up onto the dock. Neither man moved, and Deeks and Sam began CPR while Kensi called for an ambulance. Nell was there, hovering with the team and seeming to be reporting to Hetty what had happened.

It only took one repetition for Callen to cough up the water in his lungs, sitting up and trying to push Sam away.

"I'm fine, I'm fine." He said weakly. Sam put a firm hand on his partner's shoulder, pushing him back down gently.

"You are not fine; five minutes ago you were on your way to becoming fish food."

"Sorry, Charlie." Callen quipped faintly, and Sam couldn't help but smile at his friend's reference to the old tuna commercials. Callen suddenly seemed to panic. "Eric!"

He looked over suddenly, holding up his cuffed arm as if to check the computer tech hadn't drifted away.

Deeks was still performing CPR, counting under his breath as he pressed down on the analyst's chest. Kensi and Nell were silently standing behind him, eyes locked on the still form on the dock. Deeks pinched Eric's nose and breathed to force air into his lungs, then was about to return to the repetitions when the computer tech coughed weakly. Every one gave a sigh of relief as he tried to sit up but was pushed down again by Deeks, exactly like Callen.

"Are you okay?" Nell asked worriedly, and Kensi knelt down beside the two men, giving them an appraising look.

"I'd be a lot better if Deeks hadn't kissed me." Eric said, causing all the assembled agents to laugh, except for the indignant Deeks.

"I did not kiss you, it's CPR!" Deeks snapped.

"Right…we'll go with that." Eric said, giving a ghost of his usual grin.

"Hey, Eric, be thankful. I got Sam." Callen hooked a thumb back toward his partner. Sam glared at his partner.

"Next time I'll let you drown." He threatened, as the other agents, including Deeks, chuckled.

"No, you won't." Callen said promptly, wincing and running his free hand over his cut forehead.

Hey…do you see that?" Nell suddenly said, pointing toward the dock. A very bedraggled figure was pulling themselves from the water.

"Oh my gosh. I forgot about her." Kensi said, realizing it was Tiffany. "What happened to her?"

"Looks like she swam the wrong direction." Sam said, noting how tired to woman looked. He started towards her, but she took off. She was surprisingly fast in her heels, and Kensi, Deeks and Sam tore after her. Suddenly, Nell came out from behind a building in front of the agents, catching up with their prey easily. Tiffany screamed, grabbing Nell's hair and pulling it roughly. Nell yelled angrily, scratching at the woman's face. Kensi, Deeks and Sam started to intervene, but all of a sudden it was over. Tiffany reared back to punch at the redhead, but Nell was faster. She landed a perfect punch on Tiffany's jaw, knocking the woman to the deck, stunned.

"You stay down, you crazy, crazy chick!" Even irate, the fact Nell couldn't bring herself to curse made Kensi smile. The team shared a look.

"And now…I am terrified of her." Deeks said as they caught up to the small analyst, proudly standing over her captive.

"How did you…" Kensi trailed off.

"I did track in high school, and I knew there was a short cut from staring at the map on the while we were tracking them." Nell explained, not realizing that was not Kensi was asking.

"I think Kensi meant the…pow." Deeks said as he hauled the still dazed woman up. "You have the right to remain silent." He started reading the woman her rights.

"Oh, that. I was just mad, I guess." Nell shrugged.

Sam shook his head. "Now _I_ am scared of you."

Red and yellow lights cut across the sky, and the shrill whine of an ambulance siren shattered the still of the docks, causing everyone to look at the approaching vehicle, flanked by two police cars.

"There goes the neighborhood." Deeks joked.

OOO

A few minutes later, Callen and Eric were leaning against the back of the ambulance, wrapped in blankets as Sam, Deeks, and Kensi tore the van apart looking for dry clothes and Callen's lock pick kit he seemed to have dropped when changing earlier.

"Where did he put it?" Kensi asked Deeks in frustration.

"How should I know? You made me face the wall the whole time." Deeks complained as he opened a box in the back. "Ah ha! More clean, dry clothes. Remind me to tell Nell she is an angel."

"Thank you, Deeks." Nell said from the open side of the van. "I figured we might need those. Is this Callen's kit?" She asked, holding up a small leather pouch. Kensi nodded.

"That's it. I'll take it to him; you guys change." She said to the still damp Sam and Deeks. She took the pouch, Nell following her as they headed to the ambulance. The EMTs had wanted to take Eric to the hospital for a car scan, but there was no sign of a concussion or any injury aside from the bruises and his sore shoulder. Callen only sustained the cut on his forehead. Both protested so violently, the EMTs finally agreed to let them go without visiting the hospital.

"You guys doing alright?" Nell asked. Eric held up their cuffed arms from under their bundle of blankets with an annoyed expression on his face.

"Just. Peachy." He said flatly. Callen's expression matched Eric's perfectly.

"Here, will this help?" Kensi asked as she handed the picks over. Callen's face lit up as he took the pouch. Procuring the tool he wanted, he lifted his and Eric's cuffed arms out from under the blankets and set to work. Within moments, he had the cuffs off.

"Oh, that's a relief." Eric said, rubbing his wrist. "No offence, but I really didn't want to be chained to you forever."

"None taken; I feel the same way." Callen said good naturedly as he shook his hand out.

"Well, hey; it could have been worse." Kensi said, causing both men to look up.

"How so?" Eric asked suspiciously. "I was seduced-"

Callen winced. "Rephrase that, please."

"Okay, _tricked_, by that woman, then hit on the head, kidnapped, handcuffed to Called, kidnapped again, then driven off a dock and almost drowned, then given mouth to mouth by Deeks. How could that get worse?" Eric said emphatically. Kensi stifled a smile.

"Okay, that is bad. But good thing you weren't wearing Hetty's…" Kensi trailed off as she realized Eric hadn't changed. "Oh, no."

Eric went even whiter. "Oh, no is right."

"You were wearing Hetty's suit." Sam said, materializing with dry clothes for Callen and Eric.

Callen looked at the hyperventilating analyst. "He was wearing Hetty's suit."

"Is it too late to jump back in the water?" Eric asked, perfectly serious.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: I am not sure if I like this chapter; but I think that is mostly because I am sad to be ending this fic. It was so much fun to write, and I am so glad you all enjoyed it too! I am sorry for those of you that wanted pairings in this; I tried, but because they weren't in my original plan to begin with, they didn't fit. I will try some pairing stories soon, I promise. I have a new story in the works, and I hope to you all come check it out! With love and imagination-Elle.

NCIS:LA NCIS:LA NCIS:LA

It was a tired, battered, and still damp crew that arrived back at the OSP headquarters. Hetty somehow knew they were coming; she was standing in the middle of the room, blocking them from going to the bullpen, showers, training room or gun range without passing her.

She flicked her eyes over the group, and Callen saw she was relieved to see them all safe and sound, despite her flat expression. All the agents felt vaguely guilty, although they weren't sure what they were supposed to be feeling guilty about. Despite changing clothes yet again, they still looked like they had been through war, particularly Eric's bruised face and Callen's cut forehead. Nell had also had to wrap her hand tightly in a bandage; the punch had bruised her knuckles.

Hetty took notice of all these details, and folded her arms. "I have rarely seen an operation turn out like this, in all my years."

"Hetty, I can explain!" Eric started, trying to hide the sodden and water damaged suit in his arms, but Callen broke in.

"It was my fault, Hetty. Eric would never have been in danger if I had been on my guard." The lead agent said firmly, purposely drawing all the blame onto himself. But the team seemed to have other ideas.

"I should responded faster when I thought something was wrong." Nell said apologetically, rubbing her hand absently. Callen felt another pang of guilt that a member of his team was hurt because of him.

"And I should have been watching the boys closer. I saw Eric heading out to the garden with her and should have followed." Kensi said, seemingly angry at herself.

"And I should have gone looking for him when Nell said he hadn't checked in." Sam said. Deeks nodded. "That goes for me too."

Eric had a strange expression on his face and spoke up. "Guys, it's all my fault. I should have called for backup or fought her off or something. I didn't think and I almost got you all killed." He sounded miserable.

Callen started to correct them but Hetty cleared her throat.

"What are you all talking about? That was a compliment!" She said with a smile. The team stared at her. She continued. "You apprehended a mentally unstable threat with no casualties, and only minor injuries. Did you know that that car she crashed had almost two million dollars worth of stolen firearms in the trunk? There were also plans for a large dirty bomb, and half the materials required. You prevented a disaster we had no warning about." She paused. "But most importantly, you recovered three kidnapped naval officers alive and well; they were able to go home to their families. One even made it home in time for his son's kindergarten graduation."

Kensi smiled at that, but Hetty plunged on. "I am proud of you all, and you should be proud of yourselves."

The whole team was looking at each other in surprise, smiles breaking out. "Well, when you put it like that…" Deeks said. "We pretty much rocked, huh?"

Hetty chuckled. "Yes, Mister Deeks, you 'rocked.' I would be happy if all operations ended this successfully. Although, perhaps without the kidnapping and attempted drowning of two of my most valuable assets."

That got a laugh out of the agents, well…all the agents but Eric, who just grinned nervously.

"Now, don't just stand there. Go sit over there-" She motioned toward the lounge. "And I will bring you all some tea to warm you up."

"Actually, Hetty, I was going to head home-" Deeks broke off at her look and nodded. "Sitting."

True to her word, Hetty reappeared with a tray with seven steaming cups. They all accepted the gesture gratefully. Sam caught Hetty up, with the occasional interjection from the others, and the woman seemed satisfied. Suddenly, Eric spoke.

"Um…Hetty…about the suit." The computer analyst said uneasily. "I didn't mean to, I swear…"

Hetty looked with no emotion at the ruined fabric he held out like a ticking time bomb. "I see."

Eric flinched, and Sam winced in sympathy of the coming storm.

"Mr. Beal, I would appreciate it if you would toss that in the incinerators before you leave."

All the agent's eyes went wide at the statement, relief breaking over Eric's face as her words sank in. "You…aren't going to kill me?"

"Of course not, Mr. Beal. If the price of a successful mission is one tuxedo, then I can turn a blind eye to it every once in a while. Why, Mr. Callen and Mr. Hanna destroyed more than that on one of their first missions together."

Deeks perked up at that. "Oh, really?"

"Hetty!" Callen said suddenly just as Sam said the same thing with a slight whine.

"What did they do?" Nell asked, tilting her head in curiosity.

Despite the glares from her senior agents, Hetty answered. "They somehow were able to set a stretch limousine on fire, and if I remember correctly-"

"And you always do." Callen muttered darkly.

"They also managed to release over two hundred cats from a Cat Show. It took almost four hours to collect all of the felines in the Expo Center."

"Cat show? Why did you release two hundred cats from a cat show?" Kensi asked, laughing as she took a sip of tea.

Sam glared in Hetty's general direction, not quite brave enough to glare directly _at_ her. "We didn't mean to. Our suspect ran into the show, we followed…"

"There may have been some pepper spray involved." Callen added.

"And he ran right into the show ring…" Sam continued.

"Spooked the cats." Callen added.

"He made it to the back room. Started opening cages to distract us." Sam said thoughtfully. "I guess that was when Callen grabbed this can of catnip and threw it at him. Hit him too, but-"

"The can popped open…catnip everywhere." Callen made an exploding motion with his hand.

"And, it was all downhill from there." Sam shrugged.

"The catnip got on us, the suspect…the floor…the air ducts…those cats went crazy. And they were already spooked." Callen shook his head and shuddered slightly.

"Yeah, that one calico wouldn't let go of your leg. I will never forget you trying to arrest the perp with this little kitten hanging onto your jeans." Sam smiled.

Nell and Kensi had been holding back giggles and finally couldn't. Deeks and Eric joined in, while Hetty gave an indulgent smile. Callen shot a glance at Sam. "Well, you had that long haired cat following you around meowing at you the whole time. Loud little guy, too."

"How did you set the limo on fire?" Deeks asked, catching his breath.

Sam shrugged. "Turns out catnip is flammable."

"No, dropping a lighter onto the mini-bar, with spilled alcohol everywhere is flammable." Callen corrected.

"But the catnip flakes didn't help." Sam argued.

Callen rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure it was the vodka, buddy."

"Stop, stop! My sides hurt!" Nell gasped, her face red.

"Oh, no. She's doing that laugh where you are laughing so hard you can't breathe, but no sound is coming out." Deeks noted. "If you don't stop making her laugh she'll die, and that would be a bummer after that impressive sucker punch."

Nell managed to catch her breath as Hetty concluded the story. "Between the limo, and the feline disaster, they caused almost fifty thousand dollars worth of damage."

Eric whistled. "And you didn't fire them?"

"Of course not. They broke up one of the biggest smuggling rings of the decade."

"So…what did you do to them?" Kensi asked.

"Oh…nothing much." Hetty smiled.

"Nothing much?" Sam protested. "Our next assignment was participating in a junior college's theater."

"They were doing _Cats_." Callen explained.

"And I think you invented that job, anyway. We learned nothing." Sam said sulkily.

"Wait, wait, wait. Was that where those cat ears came from?" Deeks asked.

"Yes." Callen admitted.

"So, relax, Mr. Beal. No matter how bad you get, I doubt you could top that." Hetty took a sip of her tea. "Now, I want you all to get some rest. You do not have to come in until after lunch tomorrow."

All the agents looked relieved at the respite. "Thanks, Hetty." Nell stood. "I think I want to go home now."

"Take care of yourself, tiger. Don't get into any brawls on the way home." Callen said, and she lightly smacked his shoulder with her un-bandaged hand. Deeks left a few minutes after her.

Kensi took her leave, offering to drive the exhausted Eric home. He accepted gratefully.

"Make sure you get lots of rest, Mr. Beal." Hetty cautioned as he left.

"Will do, Hetty." He smiled wearily as he followed Kensi out the door.

"That goes for you too, Mr. Callen." Hetty said firmly, turning to her lead agent.

"Come on, Hetty. I get plenty of rest." He said with a smile.

Hetty raised an eyebrow.

"Enough rest." He amended. She smiled slightly.

"Be sure you do." She said firmly, but affectionately. Sam and Callen left, leaving Hetty to gaze after them. She glanced down at the props Nell had returned to her while cleaning out the van and fingered the little gold gavel with its heart shaped base. She glanced around and brought it down with a sharp tap.

"Case closed!"


End file.
